worldrace-blogs Jan 16, 2021 7:00 PM

Who am I?

Upon arriving in Mixco, it was quickly evident that English is almost nonexistent here. Our hosts and the community they live in have had very little ...

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Upon arriving in Mixco, it was quickly evident that English is almost nonexistent here. Our hosts and the community they live in have had very little experience with Americans. Antigua, which is about 20 minutes away, is a popular tourist destination, but our host explained that we are most likely the first outsiders to truly be staying in Mixco, not just passing through. 

This led me to question: “why me?” I barely speak Spanish and overall feel severely under qualified to be here. After walking through the neighborhood and meeting the locals we would be working with, I came home feeling lost and discouraged. I sat with God as I was getting ready for bed and asked, “why am I here? How am I supposed to do anything that would help?”

My Bible reading that night happened to be finishing up the book of Job. Chapter 38 specifically is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. After Job has listened to his friends talk about how he’s being punished and complained to God about everything that had happened to him (and it’s a lot in case you didn’t know), God finally responds. He asks Job several questions that really put who He is (and who we are in comparison) into perspective. 

He says, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?” (Job 38:4-7)

This response always seems to put me in my place whenever I come back to it. God isn’t diminishing me (or Job) in any way here. He’s simply magnifying who He is and the power He has. I’m reminded that of course I’m under qualified for the ministry I’m serving. I’m human. God didn’t make me to be able to do it all by myself, He made me to do it with Him. He created us with weaknesses so that we can rely on His strength. By focusing on all the things I can’t do, I won’t be able to recognize what God can do or has already done. 

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