An Open Letter to My Squad

Dear I Squad,

The time has finally come. Our bags are packed and it’s time to say our final goodbyes. But let’s be honest – it’s really a see you later.

As we played the graduation music and made promises to stay in touch, I couldn’t help but remember our time together. Like at training camp, where a tornado warning led to a dance party and an indoor sleepover. And remember the isolation from other squads?  It may have meant that some of you didn’t get to talk to the people you launched with a year prior, but it gave us more time to get to know each other. I remember getting wrecked by one of the most intense worship settings I’ve ever been a part of and looking around the room to see each of you the way that God does (and He thinks you’re pretty great). We ended the week with a Chick-fil-A picnic in a Kroger parking lot and I knew this group of people was special.

Before we knew it, it was January and we were back together for launch. Well, most of us. Dang covid kept some of us at home (or quarantined at AIM) for a few extra weeks, but soon everyone got together in Guatemala. I remember trying to figure out how the heck to lead you people through our first travel day with only one squad leader and then being absolutely exhausted once we arrived. But man, waking up to that volcano view at Casa de Fuego was INCREDIBLE. I couldn’t believe we had finally made it. 

In our ministries throughout Guatemala, I think we all fell in love. We fell in love with one another, the people we were working with, and this new experience of the body of Christ. Coming back together at debrief 2 months later brought all the stories of #pitlife and quotes of the day. We worshipped together again, singing for the first time about tender hearts being raised to heaven (let’s have a release party reunion when that album finally gets dropped, okay?). We learned about real spiritual warfare and discovered a new side of the Holy Spirit by spending 8 hours baptizing people in a bathtub. Wow, talk about a night that has marked my life. I really believe God leveled us up that night, something we desperately needed going into Costa Rica…

Yeah, you’re probably rolling your eyes thinking about Jaco right now. Living all together for 2 months was chaotic and overwhelming, but also super sweet. Remember our movie nights and Fajita Fridays? Remember the incessant improv? Do you remember getting to minister to God and one another during squad church? We got to fight for Jesus and relationships when Satan was doing absolutely anything he could to divide us. Semana Santa (Holy Week) brought a new type of spiritual warfare as we hit the streets and commissioned angel armies from the roof of the ReMax building. That’s a time I really wish I could see from a heavenly perspective, because I know we changed the atmosphere that week.

Of course, I can’t forget about San Jose. Another time and place we fell in love with. Raise your hand if you still miss The Hope Project and wish you had one more night at House of Raw. We can do without the demons at the Big Yellow House though, amirite? By the time we came back together at yet another debrief, we were changed yet again. That camp was exactly what we needed to rest after the battle we had just fought. A week full of worship, camp games, and Holy Spirit healings! We said goodbye to our first teams, crying about the ways we had all grown and matured in our first 4 months on the field. Then came round 2 of teams, gender edition in the DR.

In the Dominican Republic, some of us were given amazing ministry partners while others were trusted with ATL (Ask the Lord) for the first time. Many of us felt called to do the Daniel Fast and probably ate healthier than we had in our entire lives (shoutout to Jenna Watry for being a nutrition QUEEN and giving us the best fasting experience!). But then came the hard part. Our dear Alumni Squad Leaders, our Pneuma Brooma Squirrels, had to go home. We spent several days praising God in the ways they loved to praise Him and laughing at all of the memories we had made with them. We traveled back to the airport and I felt like our parents were dropping us off at college as we took off to Turkey on our own.

Istanbul was a new experience of sneaking hugs from our guys, and people who got offended when we told them Jesus was the Son of God and not just a prophet. We woke up to our first 5 am prayer calls and laid some spiritual groundwork in mosques. While some of us went undercover with ministry hosts across the country, others let the Lord guide us to who we were supposed to minister to that month. We ate raw meatballs and more kofte and doners than we probably should have, and got to visit the churches Paul writes to in the Bible. I think I speak for us all when I say that we saw how God’s Word is so true and needs to be shared, especially in the land where so much of the New Testament was addressed to.

Before leaving Turkey, we came back together for yet another debrief. I’d say something about it, but I honestly don’t remember much other than crying and being very stressed with logistics. I think we took a ferry ride and maybe I remember some kind of horse? It’s really all a blur. (Yay Logistics!)

Anyways, next thing I knew we were on our way to Georgia with more ATL ministry. Some of you brave souls answered God’s call to go trekking this month and WOW LOOK AT HOW GOD BLESSED YOU. You’re seriously my heroes. Georgia had the most beautiful green mountains and I was amazed by God’s creation in Kazbegi. In the city of Tbilisi, many of us spent hours at Fabrika drinking coffee and eating noodles and sushi (or what they didn’t run out of). Relationships got built in this hostel and I believe God showed up in our consistent grace and love. We spent more time than ever at the airport, between Josiah, Alli, Mary Grace, and Kev. It never got easier to say goodbye, even if it was just for a few weeks as they went to spend time with their families. And then came the never ending not-debrief as we changed teams yet again and tried to figure out where God wanted us to go instead of Uzbekistan. Remember that? I know the people at The Bridge Hostel were so confused by our lack of interest in getting drunk, and our Spirit-filled worship.

Finally, God opened up the doors for us to go to Armenia, a place rooted in a history of following God. Our hearts broke as we learned of the Armenian genocide and saw the effects of the recent war with Azerbaijan. A people dedicated to the name of Jesus Christ, but surrounded by grief and hardship. This month affected us in ways we didn’t even expect. One of our own felt such a burden for these incredible Armenian people that she said yes to God’s call to return back and bring some hope and Holy Spirit into their land. (We love and support you so much Jenn!)

Before we knew it, it was time to move on to Kyrgyzstan and back to another debrief. This one brought some special friends as our Alumni SQLs returned back to us! We laughed, we learned, and we had another special night of baptisms in the pool. It may have taken me a full day to defrost, but we got to be reminded how Holy Spirit baptism ALWAYS brings freedom and healing. We got to shed false identities, sin patterns, and physical ailments before going to the desert for a week.

The 24/7 BURN was a new experience for everyone. For 7 days, 24 hours a day, we intensely sought the face of God at a yurt camp on the shores of Lake Issyk Kul. We got brought to our knees physically and spiritually. We lamented, declared God’s goodness, prophesied, and prayed for healing from all the unfiltered water. For many, God even asked us to shed everything and come before him entirely vulnerable (and man, that water was COLD). I loved getting to enter God’s throne room daily with you and worship Him with reckless abandon.

We then got sent out to our hosts across Kyrgyzstan, tasked with teaching English and making disciples. I felt like an undercover agent, inviting students to “practice English” at a coffee shop and then being bold with the gospel. We got fierce in our faith and defended the truth in the face of Islamic opposition. I know I’m not alone in saying I thrived in the teaching, evangelism, discipleship, and community that this month held. 

All too soon came another goodbye and we boarded the plane to our final country in the heart of the Middle East. We marveled at the beauty and history of Jordan as we explored Petra and watched the sunrise in Wadi Rum. A few people even got to venture to Mount Nebo, which is where Moses stood to see the Promised Land before he died. We were given the opportunity to have another month of ATL, living all together and really practicing “Life is ministry, ministry is life.” The squad got plopped in the heart of downtown Amman. You could always count on the prayer calls, honking horns, and yelling street vendors to remind you how much this country needed the freedom that Jesus supplies. 

As a squad, we also spent our last few weeks together preparing for our transition back to America. Our incredible men of God dedicated a full evening to taking us women out on dates so that we would know what to expect from any future suitors (THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTENTIONALITY, MEN!). We took 2 nights every week to worship together and sit at the feet of Jesus. We processed through how God used the World Race to change our lives and were prompted to continue this new way of life in the Kingdom Life Plan and Re-entry packets. Debrief brought our final steps of preparation as we wrote letters to our future selves and listened to talks about #month12. We cried as we washed each other’s feet and gave presentations on our takeaways from this past year. And before we knew it, we were staying up all night to pack before leaving at 5 am for the airport.

I Squad, it has truly been an honor and a privilege to serve the Kingdom with you this year. We learned how to give (and receive) feedback, how to choose in and struggle well, and how to look more and more like Jesus. I’m thankful for every hard conversation, every prayer, every movie night, and every belly laugh. I’m thankful to have gained 30 brothers and sisters and I’m especially thankful that this goodbye is only for a short time. Keep fighting and keep abiding. I love you forever, I Squad, and I’ll see you soon.

Love,

Madison/Mads/Madi