My Constant Prayer pt. 2

I heard your voice in my heart say, “Come, seek my face;” my inner being responded, “Yahweh, I’m seeking your face with all my heart.”

Peniel seeker. For over 15 years, I’ve been learning to seek your face. For so long, I didn’t know what that meant. In a lot of ways, I’m still learning. I think it’s about the small moments. Meeting someone on the street, or a conversation in a coffee shop. I’m learning to be interruptible and listen for your voice. 

So don’t hide yourself, Lord, when I come to find you. You’re the God of my salvation; how can you reject your servant in anger? You’ve been my only hope, so don’t forsake me now when I need you!

Sometimes it feels so difficult to hear you, God. Will you show me why that is? If I’m able to quiet my mind, it’s still hard to feel like you’re there. I know you are though. You will never leave me or forsake me. You’ve chosen me to be your daughter. Thank you that you love me no matter what. I’m sorry for my sins and the ways I’ve disappointed you.

My father and mother abandoned me. But you, Yahweh, took me in and made me yours.

Bible footnote: “Every child needs 4 things: acceptance, focused attention, guidance, and protection. All 4 of these emotional needs are met by God.

How does God accept me? “I choose you. Every time, no matter what. I choose you to be my daughter. I see what no one else sees and want you all the more.”

How does God give me focused attention? “I’m here. My arms are open and I’m always ready to spend time with you. Everything from the sunsets to the small details I’ve worked out for you. Nothing is an accident or mistake with me.”

How does God guide me? “You hear my voice. You know my voice. I am trustworthy. I prepared the way and know your path. I’ll keep leading you to better and better.”

How does God protect me? “I drew you up to my presence. Even when you weren’t in me, I was protecting you. You have my shield of faith and helmet of truth. I’ve given you your own tools of protection, but I also go before you and clear the way.

Now teach me, Yahweh, all about your ways and tell me what to do. Make it clear for me to understand, for I am surrounded by waiting enemies.

My constant prayer. I feel like I’m always wanting to be told what to do and not make my own decisions. It feels like a bad thing, like I’m lazy and indecisive, but maybe that’s a lie. What’s the line between waiting on the Lord and inaction?

“Obeying my voice. Are you seeking my direction or frozen in fear? You haven’t been listening for me lately. Keep praying and speaking out my truth. There are princes [of this world] trying to keep you down.”

Don’t let them defeat me, Lord. You can’t let me fall into their clutches! They keep accusing me of things I’ve never done, breathing out violence against me.

Satan keeps trying to accuse me. That’s his name. God, keep me away from him. This isn’t trying to do anything by my own power, but asking you to save me. If I try to rely on my own strength, I will fail every time. You are the one who rescues me, cleanses me, and heals me. How am I trying to rely on myself instead of you?

“Let yourself rest. I created Sabbath for a reason. Be sensitive to my voice. It’s good to sit in silence with me. Thanksgiving is so important. It creates space for my presence. Joy. Pure, lighthearted joy comes from relying on me.

Yet I totally trust you to rescue me one more time, so that I can see once again how good you are while I’m still alive!

You’re so good. You’re faithful as well, and will continuously rescue me. It’s not because of anything I’ve done. That’s just who you are. “I totally trust you” – am I totally trusting you right now or am I trying to rescue myself?

Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you!

God is good. He is worthy of my trust and my faith. My whole life has proved this. “Be entwined as one” – more than anything, He desires an intimate relationship with me. He wants to be an inseparable part of me.