Change is hard. Whether it’s growing up, cleaning out, or moving out, it’s never easy to break routine and do something that you’re not used to.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been realizing how much of my life is going to change. I’m getting rid of most of my material possessions, leaving my family, and saying goodbye to my friends. I’m letting go of everything and everyone for something that I have no idea what God is calling me into. Honestly, it can get pretty depressing and very scary at times.
However, as I’ve been walking through this, talking with my mentors, and talking to God about it, I’ve gained a new perspective. Yes, things are going to be different. Yes, life is going to continue on while I’m away. It’s going to be hard. But I know that if God is asking me to step away here, it’s so that I can step into something better.
This is a path He’s been preparing for me. Every step of the way has been exactly what I needed, when I needed it. The first Sunday I came back to church, I had hit my rock bottom and was desperate for God, so He reminded me that He was there and had plans for me. The first small group I joined was full of women who were full of grace and showed me what it looks like to see where God is leading me and follow that. My first volunteer position was the perfect place for God to change my perspective on Him, myself, and the people around me. My next small group has helped me see the depth of God’s love and the power we have through Him; getting to lead a small group of my own is letting me share with the next generation everything God has done and is doing for me.
Moving into a house with 3 girls that I barely knew became one of my biggest obstacles and also one of my biggest blessings. In that house, God took each of my fears and insecurities and taught me how to overcome them. He used those girls to change my idea that a roommate was not just a friend, but someone I can do life with. God gave me the power to love myself and be truly loved by others in that house. He taught me how to fight for relationships and love when times are hard. I’ve learned not just what it means to be a friend, but to also be a sister. I’m sure they already know this, but leaving these girls is going to be the hardest part about taking this next step.
I’ve spent many hours asking God why this season of my life has to end. It’s been full of challenges, but it’s also been the sweetest season of life I’ve known. If I could, this would be a time I just want to pause and stay in forever. These people and this place have been better than I could have imagined. But that’s not what a Christian life is about. In the book of Acts, when the church was growing and believers were coming together to break bread and worship, it only takes up 6 verses (Acts 2:42-47). After that, they go out and spread the good news that the Messiah has come and He came for everyone. That’s what God is calling me to do now. He’s used this time to bring me into His kingdom and show me what this life is truly about. He’s shown me who He is as a Father and how much He wants to give to His children.
I know that if God is asking me to step away from a good life like this, it’s because He has something better planned for me. He wants to show me more sides of Him and give me the space to take everything I’ve learned and apply it. He wants to use me to give other people the same love I’ve been given. A very wise pastor once shared with us that everything we’ve been given by God is not meant for ourselves, but it is meant to overflow from us and into the next person. This is transcending love, and this is what we were made for.
